The 44 Uses For Sex - #1
Type: Basic
Title: Sex for Love
Purpose: Love is a rare and unstable elixir difficult to conjure and frequently lost. Sex is used to ensnare or enhance love. It intoxicates the object of affection and shows them what they are missing.
Description: This is the most popular use of sex, other than sex for the sake of sex. Demonstrated by how frequently the two are mistaken for each other. It is estimated that 96% of all humans will at some point use sex to capture love. It is also estimated these attempts will fail 87% of the time. Apparently the 13% success rate is worth the trouble.
Formula: A loves B. B likes A. A has sex with B. B loves A.
Representative Example: Bill and Linda hang out in the same group of friends. After six months, they both feel an electricity between them. They start to spend time alone, dance and talk on the phone. This is not enough. They wish to express to each other just how special they feel. They have sex. Upon completion Linda blurts out, "I love you." An awkward pause follows. They both consider what have they gotten themselves into.
History: Easily one of the oldest uses of sex. It almost assuredly predates humans. One can easily envisage a love-smitten proto-human, more monkey than man, using sex to fuel an insatiable desire inside his/her hairy chest.
Sex for love is a universally identified cultural behavior. Every culture, throughout history, has at least one instructive myth in which a god/dess gives it up to get some love.
Strategy: Contrary to popular wisdom, sex cannot change hate into love. Or even indifference into love. One's object must be at least vaguely interested. Efficacious use of this type sex requires frequent and flexible administration. The thicker one lathers it on, the more dazzled the beloved will become.
Positions and Environments: All positions are typical when sex is used to get love. Environments are also highly variable. Extremes range from groping on a tropical beach under a crescent moon to banging behind a dumpster next to a 24 hour convenience store.
Health Issues: Love is a highly contagious sickness. It also possesses physically addictive properties. In rare cases it can be terminal. Love affects one's mental judgment and therefore frequently leads to questionable sexual behavior. More babies and social diseases are born of sex for love than any other kind of sex.
Future Prospects: Sex for love is virtually assured. Love is proven to be the most valuable commodity known to humans and is always in demand.
In the future, it may be possible to go from sex to love faster than ever. Studies show certain types of sex hasten the love journey. Loud and talky sex seem to be very effective. Perhaps soon, the meandering stream between 'throwing down' and 'loving up' will be straighter than ever before.
Title: Sex for Love
Purpose: Love is a rare and unstable elixir difficult to conjure and frequently lost. Sex is used to ensnare or enhance love. It intoxicates the object of affection and shows them what they are missing.
Description: This is the most popular use of sex, other than sex for the sake of sex. Demonstrated by how frequently the two are mistaken for each other. It is estimated that 96% of all humans will at some point use sex to capture love. It is also estimated these attempts will fail 87% of the time. Apparently the 13% success rate is worth the trouble.
Formula: A loves B. B likes A. A has sex with B. B loves A.
Representative Example: Bill and Linda hang out in the same group of friends. After six months, they both feel an electricity between them. They start to spend time alone, dance and talk on the phone. This is not enough. They wish to express to each other just how special they feel. They have sex. Upon completion Linda blurts out, "I love you." An awkward pause follows. They both consider what have they gotten themselves into.
History: Easily one of the oldest uses of sex. It almost assuredly predates humans. One can easily envisage a love-smitten proto-human, more monkey than man, using sex to fuel an insatiable desire inside his/her hairy chest.
Sex for love is a universally identified cultural behavior. Every culture, throughout history, has at least one instructive myth in which a god/dess gives it up to get some love.
Strategy: Contrary to popular wisdom, sex cannot change hate into love. Or even indifference into love. One's object must be at least vaguely interested. Efficacious use of this type sex requires frequent and flexible administration. The thicker one lathers it on, the more dazzled the beloved will become.
Positions and Environments: All positions are typical when sex is used to get love. Environments are also highly variable. Extremes range from groping on a tropical beach under a crescent moon to banging behind a dumpster next to a 24 hour convenience store.
Health Issues: Love is a highly contagious sickness. It also possesses physically addictive properties. In rare cases it can be terminal. Love affects one's mental judgment and therefore frequently leads to questionable sexual behavior. More babies and social diseases are born of sex for love than any other kind of sex.
Future Prospects: Sex for love is virtually assured. Love is proven to be the most valuable commodity known to humans and is always in demand.
In the future, it may be possible to go from sex to love faster than ever. Studies show certain types of sex hasten the love journey. Loud and talky sex seem to be very effective. Perhaps soon, the meandering stream between 'throwing down' and 'loving up' will be straighter than ever before.
posted by RSS Spirit Combine | 12:27 PM
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