Where are the girls you never hooked up with in high school?

This is what our investigation turned up:

Liz is now married in Chicago and highly lusted for by most of her co-workers. Remember that ass you so cravenly craved? Still buoyant and keeps on truckin'. It is plucked quite frequently by her 'never bored in bed' husband. Beneath her cheerleader creaminess it turns out she can lay some freak on a brother.

Ever think about you? No.

Pam is the head of a college modern art museum in New York City. Remember how she was a total slut in high school? Now she has it down to a science. The privileged guys who bump and grind her are afterwards changed irrevocably. Her figure is still breath taking and she knows what art to buy that will appreciate handsomely.

Ever dream about you? No.

Reiko is back in Japan where she works for a multinational advertising agency. She uses the English she learned while a high school exchange student to seduce any number of sleazy American ad executives. Remember her crazy look and coy way? It bespeaks a relentless horniness now applied creatively to a variety of positions. She is known to travel many miles at all hours for a quality hook up session. Reiko is currently considered one of Tokyo's Top 100 Sexiest People.

Ever chuckle at something you said long ago? No.

Katy owns a wellness spa in Lake Tahoe. Not only does she know the healing arts, she can also freak you fantastically in a beautiful cottage in the woods. Remember how she was the only girl who did a three way in high school? (Besides of course the other girl.) She still puts that proclivity to use with a few lucky couples who come to her natural paradise for a visit. Rest assured if you ever got a three way with Katy in the mix, and after death you were told you could only take one memory to the afterlife, you would easily choose a three way with her.

Ever touch herself while thinking of you? No.

Samantha is a teacher down in Houston, Texas. Yes she still has a smoking body and voodoo energy in her eyes. She was such a lost and troubled creature. And those rumors about how she recklessly got down to business in the backseats of cars? All true. Now she uses her freak talents and her own self-overcoming to sexually heal guys of their deep psychic pain. She makes you weep and shudder in ecstasy in the back of her old Volvo. And by 'you' I mean 'not you' but rather other lucky guys getting the old 'bucket seat lap dance' to nirvana.

Ever cry out your name mistakenly in the heat of passion? No.