Drifter Diaries: A retrospective and guide for osmotical diffusion in rapidly shifting ecologies.
William Boxcar III
Ed.Note: Hizzer means him/her or his/her.
A drifter is one who knows the love that is found in a switching station outside of Omaha, NE. But hizzer also knows the pain of the slow road out of Phoenix, AZ carrying hizzer life's contents in a red plastic suitcase.
A drifter is sometimes confused with a ne'er-do-well. But there is a crucial difference. The drifter never quite knows how s/he ended up here. Ask a drifter how they got into this present predicament and a good answer never comes. But the ne'er-do-well will always tell you they have a development deal with Miramax, millions to arrive shortly.
The drifter is also frequently confused with the hobo, the wanderer and the guy who let the voice of Bob Barker take control. We must distinguish the pure drifter as a unique species. One marked by unadulterated tumble and rumble. The drifter is more storm system than primate. When s/he descends into town you better hide your loose change jar and put a fresh battery in the smoke alarm.
Whether a lonely sojourn on a rent-controlled couch in Chelsea, NY. Or a quick dash from a gun toting crack dealer in Philly, PA. The drifter is always a couple moves off-plan. S/he is driven by more seasonal and migratory patterns than average people. These 'primal currents' occasionally swamp good intentions and spew drifters out on the road once again.
The drifter can be understood as essentially cyclonic in nature. S/he must contend with polar currents, telleuric pressure and astrological electromagnetism. You can estimate how long a person has been drifting by counting hizzer personalities. A new personality per year is the standard deviation.
Nothing says drifter like the guy who can list off the drink specials on ATA. Is the coconut rum passion fruit punch on special? 3 dollars for a limited time. What is today's drifter like, really? Is he a downtown degenerate slummer, or an uptown unclenched undulator?
One thing for sure, the modern American drifter is hotter and sexier than ever. There is a unique allure to an outfit pilfered from a St. Dymphna thrift shop in Camden, NJ. Or a Philco TV bartered next to a dumpster in Tampa, FL. Or a shabby insolence stolen from a Portland, OR hostel urchin. Today's American drifter is younger and slimmer than ever.
Being a drifter is not all about open road and frisky locals. Sadly, it sometimes feels like walking a dragnet for a decapitated body in a Kansas City, MO nature preserve.
Nobody said drifting was for half-steppers. One thing that would help the modern drifter is drifter depots dotted across the country. A kiosk where you can buy a baloney sandwich and a glass of lemonade from a homeless orphan for a dollar. A place you can make cheap phone calls to lost lovers. A place to pay your storage bin rent (don't forget the late fee.) Throw in a coffee machine, a post card writing center, shower and a washer/dryer and you have the ultimate 'innout' homeless depot for those on the go.
So drift on, you rare born drifters! Perhaps you will roll on to that strange sun falling to the west, a star requiring the chosen follow so that Paradise may again be found.
Don't forget your can opener.
##^^##
Ed.Note: Hizzer means him/her or his/her.
A drifter is one who knows the love that is found in a switching station outside of Omaha, NE. But hizzer also knows the pain of the slow road out of Phoenix, AZ carrying hizzer life's contents in a red plastic suitcase.
A drifter is sometimes confused with a ne'er-do-well. But there is a crucial difference. The drifter never quite knows how s/he ended up here. Ask a drifter how they got into this present predicament and a good answer never comes. But the ne'er-do-well will always tell you they have a development deal with Miramax, millions to arrive shortly.
The drifter is also frequently confused with the hobo, the wanderer and the guy who let the voice of Bob Barker take control. We must distinguish the pure drifter as a unique species. One marked by unadulterated tumble and rumble. The drifter is more storm system than primate. When s/he descends into town you better hide your loose change jar and put a fresh battery in the smoke alarm.
Whether a lonely sojourn on a rent-controlled couch in Chelsea, NY. Or a quick dash from a gun toting crack dealer in Philly, PA. The drifter is always a couple moves off-plan. S/he is driven by more seasonal and migratory patterns than average people. These 'primal currents' occasionally swamp good intentions and spew drifters out on the road once again.
The drifter can be understood as essentially cyclonic in nature. S/he must contend with polar currents, telleuric pressure and astrological electromagnetism. You can estimate how long a person has been drifting by counting hizzer personalities. A new personality per year is the standard deviation.
Nothing says drifter like the guy who can list off the drink specials on ATA. Is the coconut rum passion fruit punch on special? 3 dollars for a limited time. What is today's drifter like, really? Is he a downtown degenerate slummer, or an uptown unclenched undulator?
One thing for sure, the modern American drifter is hotter and sexier than ever. There is a unique allure to an outfit pilfered from a St. Dymphna thrift shop in Camden, NJ. Or a Philco TV bartered next to a dumpster in Tampa, FL. Or a shabby insolence stolen from a Portland, OR hostel urchin. Today's American drifter is younger and slimmer than ever.
Being a drifter is not all about open road and frisky locals. Sadly, it sometimes feels like walking a dragnet for a decapitated body in a Kansas City, MO nature preserve.
Nobody said drifting was for half-steppers. One thing that would help the modern drifter is drifter depots dotted across the country. A kiosk where you can buy a baloney sandwich and a glass of lemonade from a homeless orphan for a dollar. A place you can make cheap phone calls to lost lovers. A place to pay your storage bin rent (don't forget the late fee.) Throw in a coffee machine, a post card writing center, shower and a washer/dryer and you have the ultimate 'innout' homeless depot for those on the go.
So drift on, you rare born drifters! Perhaps you will roll on to that strange sun falling to the west, a star requiring the chosen follow so that Paradise may again be found.
Don't forget your can opener.
##^^##
posted by RSS Spirit Combine | 11:36 AM
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