Society Wag Wandering - lefty magazine dance party fundraiser

The donation is for between five and ten dollars. Something about a lefty magazine fundraiser brings out the frugal marxist in us, so we give ten for two.

What is the state of the lefty magazine these days? From the various publications stacked on a table for the taking, it looks pretty good. War and two terms of Bush have energized lefty magazines into a semblance of efficiency. The articles have been proofread, the graphics are professional, they even have hot lefty models to lure us in.

But we are not here to read about the sad state of the world. We are here to drink 2 dollar PBRs and dance. We are not at any nightclub, we are at a state of the art "listening space." We are not sure what that means, all we know is the owners paid a buttload for the speakers. It sounds pretty good, but by the way everybody talks about it, we should all be standing quietly absorbing the harmonic epiphany. Frankly after four PBRs we're happy to listen to a jukebox.

We get a drink. We try and dance. It is a little tough. The DJs are guest DJs and you know what that means. Free DJs. Free DJs usually are bad DJs. Good DJs are insufferable prima donnas who demand cash up front. Bad DJs have a lot of vinyl dedicated to 'real musical talent.'

Etiquette Question: How does one approach another and let them know how hot his/her ass is? After all, it seems OK to mention somebody's shirt or mention if somebody lost weight. But if you say, "You might have lost your mind yet your ass endures," it never comes out as a compliment. Everybody is a little touchy about the ass area. The ancient prohibition against touching one's ass perhaps?

The editor of the lefty magazine is looking good. He wears a clean shirt anyway. Looks to have bathed recently. Two 'lefty editor loving' women cling to him. They dance. Or try to. We all try to. The guest DJs are muddling about.

The lefty magazine fundraiser seems to consist mostly of conspiratorial conversations. Little groups cluster on the hipster lounge modules lined around the walls. In twos and threes people share gossip, professional secrets and where to vacation in Mexico. Apparently Merida is the place at the moment. Remember, Mexico is the country of all of our futures. So get down there and inhale the sweet Yucatan air soon.

We bum beers off friends because we feel like penniless marxists. These midweek fundraisers always hit the wallet at its most vulnerable. Mostly people sit around and keep an eye out for a weekend date. This is the type of affair where one's skills at pretending to pay attention become valuable. Try and pick a group of two to pretend to listen to. That way you can keep an eye on both of them in case they look at you expecting a response. A whole party can be whittled away easily with this method.

Thank god, a DJ with a clue (of sorts) pops up in the booth. We dance. From unseen hipster niches stream beautiful women. They frolic to the hip hop. We are momentarily stunned by this one beauty. She looks Polish. Absolutely a wonder to behold.

Frankly she was worth the price of admission to the lefty magazine fundraiser....