Society Wag Wandering - The NBA Ball
Why do the ladies doll up when going to a pro basketball game? While watching the Bulls we notice lots of women busting out the butt hugging jeans and the sassy shirts. God bless we say. But we wonder, why? Do they think the devilish power forward is going to get a ball boy to deliver them a note? Maybe, you never can be sure.
From the minute we sit down we are stimulated. Mascots, cheerleaders, beer vendors, basketball players and the whole video smorgasbord on the jumbotron. The stuff you see on the jumbotron is not free however. Once in awhile they make you look at ugly people kissing in the stands.
We must hand it to those in charge of fan stimulation. There is never a dull moment. We perhaps hit our most frenzied during the Dunken Donuts cartoon race on the jumbotron. This is where you bet on either a bagel, donut or coffee, who then race around a track. Sad to say we do not win. We do win a free jug of water later. But the thing is, we can get water out of the tap. Donuts we usually must travel to and wait in line for.
The stadium is fairly racially integrated. Rare for this town. The color of the person inside the Bull costume we can not ascertain. But they dance like nobody's business, so we are guessing Philippine or Latvian.
The stadium is evenly divided between families, gangs of drunks and corporate client entertainment clusters. We sit behind some corporate tools. Two guys and two girls in corporately accepted entertainment wear. They each drink one beer. They each gossip among themselves.
To the right of us we have friends swilling beer, talking on cell phones, lecturing each other.
Nearby sit a couple of families. During a break we hear "Greased Lightning" on the PA. We notice that even young kids know the words to this song from "Grease." Is that movie still shown to impressionable youth? For the kids' sake, we hope not.
Pro basketball is pretty fun. There are 7 foot centers and world class ball handlers and angry looking foreigners with bad haircuts. Somebody please, get that Lithuanian import a hair cut. Give him a little upgrade on the Baltic Boxcar.
It is awesome to see old basketball players bust out for a huge game. We watch a veteran with an electric yellow headband play an amazing game. He cannot miss a shot. Probably his season high points scored. Lesson learned: there is a magic on the hardwood in unexpected places if you look.
But looking is hard when you can instead look at all these hot asses in jeans. Why are all these women busting it out? Is it because the tickets are so expensive? I mean, the crowd is drinking MGD in plastic cups, eating nachos and screaming disturbing stuff about the ref's family - no need to dress up. Of course we appreciate it when the ladies bust it out. But it is a little distracting. We are supposed to be paying attention to pituitary cases wearing underwear trying to put a ball in a hoop. Instead all we can think about is frolicking, giggling and spanking plump protuberances in Levis.
The home team wins and we are glad...
From the minute we sit down we are stimulated. Mascots, cheerleaders, beer vendors, basketball players and the whole video smorgasbord on the jumbotron. The stuff you see on the jumbotron is not free however. Once in awhile they make you look at ugly people kissing in the stands.
We must hand it to those in charge of fan stimulation. There is never a dull moment. We perhaps hit our most frenzied during the Dunken Donuts cartoon race on the jumbotron. This is where you bet on either a bagel, donut or coffee, who then race around a track. Sad to say we do not win. We do win a free jug of water later. But the thing is, we can get water out of the tap. Donuts we usually must travel to and wait in line for.
The stadium is fairly racially integrated. Rare for this town. The color of the person inside the Bull costume we can not ascertain. But they dance like nobody's business, so we are guessing Philippine or Latvian.
The stadium is evenly divided between families, gangs of drunks and corporate client entertainment clusters. We sit behind some corporate tools. Two guys and two girls in corporately accepted entertainment wear. They each drink one beer. They each gossip among themselves.
To the right of us we have friends swilling beer, talking on cell phones, lecturing each other.
Nearby sit a couple of families. During a break we hear "Greased Lightning" on the PA. We notice that even young kids know the words to this song from "Grease." Is that movie still shown to impressionable youth? For the kids' sake, we hope not.
Pro basketball is pretty fun. There are 7 foot centers and world class ball handlers and angry looking foreigners with bad haircuts. Somebody please, get that Lithuanian import a hair cut. Give him a little upgrade on the Baltic Boxcar.
It is awesome to see old basketball players bust out for a huge game. We watch a veteran with an electric yellow headband play an amazing game. He cannot miss a shot. Probably his season high points scored. Lesson learned: there is a magic on the hardwood in unexpected places if you look.
But looking is hard when you can instead look at all these hot asses in jeans. Why are all these women busting it out? Is it because the tickets are so expensive? I mean, the crowd is drinking MGD in plastic cups, eating nachos and screaming disturbing stuff about the ref's family - no need to dress up. Of course we appreciate it when the ladies bust it out. But it is a little distracting. We are supposed to be paying attention to pituitary cases wearing underwear trying to put a ball in a hoop. Instead all we can think about is frolicking, giggling and spanking plump protuberances in Levis.
The home team wins and we are glad...
posted by RSS Spirit Combine | 3:45 PM
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